New Year's

So it's a new year, a brand spankin' new year in which there are endless possibilities. Chances to screw up, do things right, and enjoy life. Where will 2011 take me? Hopefully, I will end 2011 with a Master's degree and National Board Certification. Hopefully, I will end 2011 with a freshly-painted kitchen and at least one spare bedroom cleaned out. I'm not setting my ambitions too high.

Lots of people have posted on Facebook that they're glad to see 2010 go, but I've got to admit that it was a pretty good year for this little family. Our marriage is stronger than ever, and we are moving in a positive direction. It's amazing to look back over our three years of marriage and realize that we have grown so much and we're doing it together.

Still

How did I get to where I am? I'm at a point in my life where I am not comfortable with who I am, what I look like, or the way I live. I go through the motions of life, but I don't feel like I'm really living. I am over-committed to things that don't matter, and I have no time for my husband, myself, or my God.

I've been reading some blogs by Denise Hildreth Jones about the importance of being still. And being still is hard. It's a battle with self to sit and be still and not be caught up in the hustle and bustle of the day to day.

Today, I'm making an effort to just be.

Keeping It In Check

So our offer was accepted on a house today. Not just a house, really, but THE house, the one I want. It is a house I used to babysit in when I was younger, and I've always loved it--the space, the layout, the colors (which have changed tremendously), I loved it all.

It is difficult to not get excited and get our hopes up, but I know we need to remain realistic. We still have to have it inspected for termites, and that's where the last house just bottomed out (and probably will literally do that before too long.)

We are just at a point where we've outgrown our one-bedroom apartment, and while it was a wonderful starting place for us, it is time to move on. If everything checks out (fingers crossed and prayers lifted up), we can close on or before August 30. Right now, I'm just relishing the moment.

Rising to the Challenege

If you go back through the four blogs I wrote before I abandoned this blog attempt altogether, you will see where I was being wishy-washy about graduate school--knowing I wanted my Master's, but not knowing if I was ready or able or motivated enough to do it just yet. This summer, I bit the bullet, and I have completed two classes (and made A's). I am currently enrolled in the next two; you'll have to check back to see what this monsterous research class does to my GPA. After this summer, I'll only have six classes to go, and I will be the proud owner of a Master's and recipient of a pay raise. I'm pretty excited about both! I'm also working on completing National Boards for teaching this year. I'm definitely more scared of that than I am of the Master's degree.

The husband and I are still house hunting ferociously. We found our "dream house," made an offer that was accepted, and then the house completely failed the termite inspection. And by failed, I mean the inspector said it was the worse he'd seen in years. Now we no longer refer to it as our "dream house" but the "termite house" instead. I was pretty sad, but it was great that we found out before we purchased and moved into the termites' territory. It would have likely made them very angry. We are currently looking at a house and planning on making an offer today. It's a foreclosed property that is in great shape, so we're keeping fingers crossed and sending prayers up.

Honestly, between graduate school, reading books that I think hope will be useful as I attempt National Boards, and hunting for houses that are in our price range but not in the ghetto, my summer has disappeared. In about three weeks, I will head back to the classroom and welcome 60-70 new students into the wonderful world of American literature. I hope I'm ready for that challenge in three weeks.

Selflish, Ungrateful Me

Sometimes I complain too much--about the weather (too cold in South Carolina today!), my lack of savings account (should have known when I decided to teach), and the fact that we don't have a house of our own yet (so tired of this one-bedroom apartment). What I forget to do, however, is give thanks for all the things I do have--electricity, heat, and a fuzzy jacket to keep me warm on this 20 degree morning, money to pay bills with enough left over to have some spending money, and a one-bedroom apartment that is in a safe location and is truly big enough for what we "need."

I complain so much about things that I should never bother complaining about. Truthfully, when you think about it, anything we complain about has to fall into one of two categories. It is either something we can control, or something we can't. If the issue is something we can control, then we should simply work to change it. If it is something beyond our control, then there is no reason to complain about something we can't change. This is an excellent thought, but something I hardly put into practice. Instead, I whine about the price of milk at the grocery store, without pausing to be thankful that I can afford it.

Things could be so much worse than they are, and for lots of people all over the world, things are a lot worse than "how bad" I have it. There are families who go without food, clothes, shelter, etc. There are children who have no one who hugs them or tells them they are loved.

Truthfully, I lack nothing. I have everything I need and then more on top of that. I have been so ungrateful for the life I have and the people/things/luxuries in it. I plan to spend this year being more thankful for what I have...trying to hone in one thing I'm thankful for each day.